Carpe diem!

2008 has been an amazing year of growth for us, with so many victories to be thankful for! So.... what better place to celebrate the year than Disney World, where every day is a joyful party?

Hahaha, well, I had to twist Don's arm... he fought me on the Disney thing for ages. I finally got him to agree to go by puckering my lip and explaining how much those memories would mean to me if we could go on our own before we had kids. We counted our pennies, then headed to Florida on the weekend after I finished finals!

I used my travel-savvy superpowers to score this sweet room (a great location 5 minutes from Disney) for $33/night including tax:

We drove down on Friday and visited Downtown Disney that evening. Don really loved it... finally, a romantic place to stroll without timeshare hawks screaming at us! Of course, a visit to the Ghirardelli shop was on the agenda for a decadent dark chocolate Midnight Reverie sundae. We enjoyed the street performers and window shopping. I loved this saxophone quartet!

On Saturday, we visited the Magic Kingdom. I was so excited, we actually made it to the gates before they opened. (When am I ever early for anything??) I felt like a little girl again and was completely caught up in the magic of the moment as we watched the characters race in for the welcome celebration. I was surprised to find myself standing there crying like a total loon!

Check out my Prince Charming:

We stayed at MK until after 10 pm! I loved watching Cinderella's castle's nightly Christmas light show, and the fireworks at the end of the night were magical, too... bursting in time to music about dreams and wishes and courage... good stuff. We got to do everything we wanted to do in the park. Weather was cool but sunny, and the crowds weren't bad at all.

The next day, we were up and at 'em again early for a visit to Epcot. I love this park! I couldn't wait to ride Mission: Space and to visit the different countries in the World Showcase. We absolutely loved the new Soarin' ride! (That was the final straw for me... I think I will ask to go hang-gliding for my next birthday.)

We ate our way across the World Showcase, stopping for food in Norway, Morocco, and France. We marveled at both the general incompetence of the Norwegians, and the beauty and mystique of the Morocco pavilion (our favorite).

Here I am in Italy:

I am so glad we took this trip! Life is too short. Why not pour all of our efforts into building amazing memories together?

Sick humor

Whenever I think I've had a bad day...

Be sure to turn on the sound!

Better, stronger, wiser

Things I'm grateful for now that I might not have had or appreciated as much a year ago:

- Grace.

- A faith that I truly own. It is not dependent on church or tradition or expectations or other people. I believe because I recognize who Jesus Christ is, how much He loves, and who I really am apart from Him.

- A faithful husband who chooses to love me wholeheartedly.

- Friends who invite me to just come on over to visit, when all I did was call to chat.

- A car that continues to run well, even at 183K miles.

- The freedom to cut toxic relationships out of my life, or at least diminish their place as much as necessary.

- Peace in knowing that God's justice is flawless.

- A dad who I am continually growing closer to and loving more.

- Discernment.

- High-speed internet!

- Friends who have known me for years and years. Particularly those who were around when I was a naive and overconfident 18-year-old, and who love me even more today!

- A pastor who serves with genuine humility, and who challenges me with teaching that is fueled directly by Scripture.

- My pregnant sister-in-law!

- The gift of my inner strength: the ability to keep laughing, growing, achieving, and loving...

- Knowing that who I am is based not on my opinion of myself, anyone else's opinion, or ANYTHING except my worth in God's eyes. I thought I understood that until it was challenged. Now I really get it.

Genuine

My grandma and I couldn't be more different. In fact, as I was growing up, I couldn't imagine a fate worse than a life like hers. All I ever wanted was to get out of WV, study, travel, and explore... all things that she never showed any interest in doing. Her world was tiny and in my eyes, stifling.

The day after her funeral last week, I drove to her house to meet with my aunts and uncles to begin going through some of her things. I sat in her chair with a mountain of old photographs in my lap, and simply let the tears flow. Where was she? Where was the familiar sound of her raucous laughter?

Notecards and photos... so many of my elderly grandparents kissing and playing... their 50th anniversary... Mamaw driving a boat... Mamaw cooking in her kitchen... Mamaw grinning at her 80th birthday party... Christmases past unwrapping gag gifts of rubbie duckies and toilet paper... Papaw riding my little girlie bike... Papaw in a shirtless group of GI's, one holding a newspaper with the headline "War Over"... my grandparents as teenagers, so gorgeous and strong... photos and letters from more family and friends than I ever knew she had. We always teased Mamaw for the mementos she saved. I found a pink envelope labeled in her handwriting "Keep forever", and inside were pictures of me. I found a thank-you note that my mom had sent her for helping take care of my older brother after I was born, and a calendar from 1980 where the only note in it was about my first birthday. In my hands, I held her treasures.

I set aside a pile of photographs to claim for myself, then sat quietly and gazed around the room. Her beloved parakeet chirped obliviously. She always loved birds and flowers and her immaculate gardens were evidence of that. She decorated her home with bird figurines and silk floral arrangements, the kind of corny knick-knacks that I'd always hated but she adored.

Sophisticated? Ha! Mamaw never cared what people thought of how she lived. She knew exactly what she liked! She raised her four successful kids, taught them about Jesus, spent her life doting on her family and friends, and stayed home with her flowers and her birds. She was content. She laughed and loved every single day.

Mamaw got it right.

I hope I will, too.

Tired

My grandmother and aunt both passed away late last week. Spent 4 days in WV, which were meaningful, but now I have a ton of work to make up. Am also extremely concerned for several good friends who are going through some miserable personal struggles. My heart is heavy.

And I need to vent...

Just for the record, for those who are dying to know who haven't yet been brazen enough to ask:

Yes. I have lost weight.
No, it was not on purpose.
Yes, I know why.
Yes, I do eat.
No, you don't need to worry.
OK????

Since I've had, oh, five people comment about my weight in the past week, I wonder if the scrutiny will ever die down. Geez. Was I really that fat?

Life in a nutshell

Although I am stressed, I'm still so BLESSED!!!!!!!

Progress

Returning to school after an eight-year hiatus filled me with quite a bit of apprehension at the beginning of the semester. I had all kinds of insecure thoughts swirling through my head, everything from feeling technologically impaired, to worrying about being too old or uncool to hang out with my classmates, to concerns that I'd forgotten how to study and would not perform up to my own expectations. I also tend to be a quiet observer in the classroom, and compared to most of the others who have years of experience in a library and have been sharing their knowledge with the class, I have felt like I'm way out of my league.

Now I'm finding that I shouldn't have been worried at all! The work's tough, but I'm hanging in there. I got 2 assignments back last week and made A's on both, one of which was the 2nd highest grade in the class. Score!! My fears are subsiding. I can do this. I am just as, if not more, capable of succeeding at graduate level work compared to the others in my class. And I WILL kick butt in earning my degree, no matter what it takes!

I also love how my social circles are expanding. Last week, several of us went out to dinner before a lecture, and I noticed that I was the oldest person sitting at the table. I realized that I truly enjoy being back in college at this phase of my life. I'm young enough to relate to the fresh-out-of-undergrad crowd, yet settled enough to fit squarely into the old-and-married group. I also love being married and in school. Not only am I removed from the distractions of dating, but I get to come home to my #1 motivator!

To think... I sent in my application last winter truly on a whim and barely made the deadline. Taking that one little step dramatically altered the course of my life. I was frozen for a couple of years, but I'm back now in a big way. What will my next step be?

Is it 2017 yet?

This year's presidential election is the most aggravating for me of any of my voting years.

First of all, the campaigning seemed to begin dominating the daily headlines about 3 years ago, and I'm simply SICK OF IT!!!

I do not like Barack Obama. The obvious reason would be that he is a Democrat, although I actually do vote for Democrats fairly often. Our governor is a Democrat who I support 100% since I believed, then and now, that he is clearly the most qualified candidate. Party differences do not carry much weight for me in the local and state level.

Anyhow, back to Obama. The guy gives me the creeps, plain and simple. I cannot get a sense of what he truly stands for as a person, and that has nothing to do with his ethnicity. I don't appreciate his attempts to be all things to all people. I want to see his human side. I want to see emotion. I want to know that he personally values something that his party might consider controversial, and I want to see him defend that position with passion and integrity. I want to see evidence of notable accomplishment beyond charming speeches. As he called Sarah Palin, he is, himself, a very capable politician. I do commend him in that his campaign is a well-oiled machine.

McCain... well... I have no choice but to point to Sarah Palin. I REALLY wanted to like her. Her flawless debut at the national convention mesmerized the Republican party and befuddled the Democrats. Plus, I just love her brainy brunette look! :) But I can't get past the painful Katie Couric interviews, the state trooper scandal, and the overemphasis on religion during her tenure as mayor and governor. She's bright, but way out of her league as a running mate... chosen not as the most qualified candidate for VP, but as a pawn simply to get McCain into the White House. For that reason alone, I must question McCain's leadership as I had not done prior to his selection of Palin. Come on, surely she wasn't the best he could come up with?

(For what it's worth, I hoped McCain would summon Condi Rice, but she's tied too closely with Bush to be considered. That is truly unfortunate.)

Therefore, this leaves me in a quandary. Whose name shall I check on my ballot? Knox County's early voting has already begun, and I have never been so apprehensive about selecting a presidential candidate. I would happily cast my vote for Hillary Clinton or Al Gore before committing to either of the two choices we have before us now.

*Sigh*. Will someone please wake me up when it's all over?

Fall break

Being blessed with the rare combination of both good weather and having time off with my husband, we decided to hit the trails and go backpacking. Finally! I've been waiting for years to get back into this sport!

We decided to head toward Cades Cove and hike Rich Mountain to stay at campsite #5 for one evening. The hike up was indeed a terrific workout, but I barely noticed since I was so excited to be out enjoying the gorgeous forest, perfect weather, and QT with my darling. Being completely alone on the mountaintop at night was a little creepy since bears are so active in that area right now, and when it's dark, it is PITCH black. However, the trip remained a relaxing and worthwhile venture through and through. I am again reminded of what a gift it is to be young, strong, and capable of accomplishing anything I wish.

Here I am in front of the John Oliver cabin at the base of the mountain:



One of the two bear warning signs at our campsite. It had teeth marks in it! The other sign was completely in shreds.


I'm lowering my pack from the bear cables that protect our food and gear:

Bear tracks on the trail:

Whatta view! From the top of Rich Mountain:

Distracted!

I don't know what's been going on with me for the past couple of days, but I just can NOT seem to get it together!

Yesterday was not good. When I got home from hiking, I backed into our fence post pretty hard and put a nice dent in it. I don't know why but I just wasn't paying attention. Then, as I was leaving O'Charley's last night with Nancy, I backed way over the curb. This is all coming from someone with a flawless driving record and who, under normal circumstances, is an annoyingly conscientious driver.

When Don got home last night, I sheepishly showed him the fence and told him of my misadventures. He started laughing and said he was glad to finally see the stupid moves coming from me instead of him.

Nothing else was said until I arrived home from school today to this:

Subtle, huh? Yep, that's the MO of my sweetheart... supportive in his own unique way... :)

Today, I forgot my wallet at home and didn't realize it until I pulled in to get gas. I also inadvertently left my glasses in my car and was blind all through class this morning. All this, and I wasn't even running late today!

I'm more than a bit nervous about what the rest of the day will bring...

The writing was on the wall!

Last January, I finally took the time to move this blog here to blogspot. Myblog.com was down so often that I was afraid it would go offline for good, taking my journal with it.

My suspicions were correct. Without any notification from the site, all of my writing disappeared only to be replaced by some incomprehensible code.

Look at what it is now: http://peacefulspirit.myblog.com/

Our bounty

Time for a few pics!

D & I attended the Food City Food Show, which I'm convinced is the best gig in town. Pay $6 to get in, stuff yourself silly with samples of goodies, and leave with overflowing bags of treats. Jars of salsa! Rock Star drinks! Bags of carrots! 5 boxes of mac and cheese! Check out our loot from this year:

We've also enjoyed taking advantage of the grocery savings offered by Angel Food Ministries. Angel Food originated as a practical outreach for churches to minister to families by providing quality food at a lower cost. Each month, a different box of food is offered for $30, and it's supposed to feed a family of four for a week. We've purchased three boxes so far, and it's all true: our grocery bills have dropped dramatically, and the food is really good! I've been especially impressed with the meat... it's definitely not second rate. Here's what I picked up on Saturday (including about 10 lbs of meat):

Finally, my precious husband and I celebrated our fourth anniversary last week! He blesses my life beyond words. What a joy it is to share every day with a man who seeks Christ wholeheartedly and more amazing yet, loves me unconditionally.

As is customary for the occasion, we headed out of town to spend uninterrupted time together, prompting us to our first visit to beautiful Fall Creek Falls park:

A fish out of water

My new job is full of surprises. Crossing the stage to receive my college diploma eight years ago, I never imagined that I'd be doing anything besides Alzheimer's support and geriatric social services, and I certainly never envisioned myself in my current work environment. Every day, I encounter something new to me, something a bit quirky, something to make me ponder...

Such as:
- Tough-looking guys with guns who verify my identity before allowing me to drive in

- The mail robot. He drives himself down the hall, turns corners on his own, and beeps his way throughout the building as he delivers mail. He's supposed to stop when he sees something in his way, but he's not so good at that!

- Amazing diversity of people! I'm not sure that caucasians are in the majority.

- Normal-looking ice machines in the hallway with big signs: "Not for human consumption".

- The vault. I can go in, but foreign nationals can't.

- Wearing a dosimeter everyday to measure my exposure to radiation.

- If I get pregnant, I have to tell my boss right away. They'll send a swat team to move around all of the furniture in my office to test for radiation hotspots to ensure my baby won't be born with three eyes.

- The three new electric cars that some old guys in our building are working with. The cars appear to be a cross between an Amish buggy and a souped-up golf cart. The old guys are really proud of them and call those ugly cars their "chick magnets" .

- The trash cans in the cafeteria audibly thank me when I use them.

1 month down...20 to go...

I just finished writing my first paper in over 8 years, woo-hoo. Amazing how much I thought I remembered UNTIL I tried to extract it from the far recesses of my brain!

Trying to balance school, work, friends, etc. has been quite a stretch, but I think I'm doing all right. Finding motivation to study has not been difficult since I am altogether grateful for the opportunity I've been given. I do love being a student again and I feel right at home at UT!

I do have some more good news... I received my dream position in a research library. I say "dream" because the work is interesting, the people are fun, the pay's terrific, the hours are flexible, and due to the mission of this particular organization, it's a foot in the door for practically anywhere else I may want to work after graduation. The only downside is that it's a long commute, but I'm only having to drive there twice a week so it isn't too bad.

Eventually I will post something more interesting, but this is the best I can do for now.

Excited!

Just finished 3 days of orientation at UT for both my master's program and my assistantship. It was all fabulous! I must say that I have been very impressed with everything I have seen from the school, faculty, and fellow students. The semester will be quite a challenge, but I am ready!

I enjoyed having lunch yesterday with my advisor... among many other things, I learned about how his sister (Asian-Indian) met her Indian-American husband through here. I would've imagined such endeavors to be scandalous in the land of arranged marriages. Who knew?

I've also been working nonstop on our trip planning for Costa Rica. Less than 5 months away now! I can't wait to experience this for myself:

Keeping it real

Don's grandmother passed away so we drove to NJ to spend most of the week with his family. It was interesting as usual. John and Beth served faithfully as our islands of sanity amidst the predictable escalating drama.

The actual funeral was difficult for me. Not so much because I miss Grandma... I really didn't know her well and I'm happy for her that she's not suffering anymore. My discomfort was related to the religious rites of the funeral itself. Let me preface this by saying that my intent is not to knock anyone's choices... I'm just stating my observations.

Grandma was Roman Catholic. The funeral was exactly what I would've expected based on my few experiences attending Catholic mass with friends. Sit, stand, kneel, stand, kneel, sit. I could NOT keep up! Bland songs. Somber expressions on all faces. Creepy-looking icons. Incense. Recitations. Going through the motions. Our family was sitting together in front, and I'm sure we looked like a group of heathens since obviously none of us had a clue of what we were supposed to be doing.

A few years ago, D's uncle died and he had a Russian Orthodox funeral which basically consisted of burning incense and chanting the same phrases over and over again for hours. I never heard any mention of Uncle Yogi, and that broke my heart. The priest and choir of chanters (or whatever they are formally called) spent the entire time begging God to have mercy on the soul of his servant who had fallen asleep. I didn't see any purpose to that at all. Why couldn't we have spent that time rejoicing and thanking God for Yogi's life? I was seriously upset after that one.

I can hardly bear taking part in these kind of services where God is reduced to some mythical, austere, impersonal, egotistical, demanding being in the sky. God is so real and alive to me. He's approachable. Warm. Loving. Just. He wants my heart and my trust in His plan. I can't understand how anyone can read the same Bible I do and still think that they have to "earn" their way into a relationship. I could light candles and chant and do the sign of the cross all day long, and still accomplish absolutely nothing of eternal value. Who started all of this stuff and what convinced them that God ever cared about these pseudo-pious rituals?

If that was what God was truly all about, I never would have given Him a second thought.

Renaissance

I feel myself coming back to life.

I can eat. I can laugh. I can accomplish tasks and read books and sing out loud and concentrate.

God is faithful.

Thankful

I needed a change of scenery this weekend, so with my dh's blessing, I took off for a little road trip. I got a motel room in Williamsburg, KY, and spent the next day exploring Cumberland Falls State Park. The time alone to think and pray was invaluable. I also made a new friend in Buster:

Yesterday, Don went with me to UT to turn in paperwork and have my student ID card made. We met some people in my department, and scoped out important places such as the most convenient parking areas, the grad student computer lab, and the most appealing lunch spots. I really appreciated having him with me to wander through campus and learn my way around. My nervous jitters about starting school have developed into full-blown excitement now! I've already purchased all of my new school supplies, our home office is complete, and I'm completely ready to move forward with this phase of my life. A fresh start with new people and new challenges truly couldn't come at a better time.

I also was overjoyed to spend time at Panera with my girlfriends from my Monday night group:

We have been meeting weekly for over a year to have dinner and study the Bible together in each other's homes. The last 2 weeks we've taken off since 2 of them were out of town, and I'd missed their presence more than I'd ever imagined! We are each so unbelievably different from one another that our close bond came as a surprise to all of us, and we've grown to treasure our times together. I really don't have words for how much I cherish and admire these ladies. They have held me up, cried with me, challenged me, covered me in prayer, and taught me about the love of Christ time and time again.

More than skin deep

I suppose we all reach out for comfort in our own way. Some crave solitude, others search for tasks to distract, or a listening ear, or the bottom of a carton of Mayfield's. All have their merits, and I've tried several (especially the chocolate ice cream), but I can't say any truly fulfill.

As I sort through my emotions resulting from the troubles of late, I seek beauty. Wildflowers in a vase on the kitchen table. Beethoven's sonatas and Chopin's preludes streaming through my hands and filling our home with glorious sound. Scouring the house clean. Brightly colored clothes. Extra care with the jewelry and makeup. Time at the animal shelter loving those sweet, adorable little faces. What comfort I find in knowing that when I am bruised and everything else seems twisted and sad, beauty still exists... that continual gift from God.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?
When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh,
when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.
Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.

One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.
For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.
Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord." ~ Psalm 27:1-6

All is not lost

Happy birthday, Brian! We finally got to spend some time with two of our closest friends, Brian and Heather, to celebrate Brian's 30th. It's so hard to get together since they live in Chattanooga with their baby, and we have odd work schedules which make scheduling visits difficult. On Friday evening, we met at Brian's mom's along with his sister, her family, and our mutual friend Tara. I've always liked his family and what a pleasure it was to visit with them again.

I've known Brian since 1996, and I can honestly say that I never worked harder to become friends with someone. He was so quiet then, and it took me 2 years and a couple of semesters of pestering him in Russian class to get him to really talk to me. I have found over the years that there is very little he won't do for a friend. Brian truly is one of the best people I know.

We've been busy remodeling the back two rooms of our house - our office/laundry and the 2nd bedroom (Penny's room). Since I will be spending so much time studying back there, we thought we'd make the space more livable... filling in an unused doorway, covering an ugly paneled wall, painting, improving the lighting, etc. Don also designed and constructed an awesome desk for me! I just finished sanding it and am going to paint it black.

Here's Penny:

Anyway, because UT gave me a teaching assistantship which will be covering my expenses for grad school, I gave my 2-week notice and finished working with the abuse prevention/education program last Thursday. I was never so apathetic about leaving a job before! Usually there is some emotion involved... rapturous joy, sad tears, relief... but this time I felt absolutely nothing. Just wrapped up my files, tossed my keys and badge on my boss's desk, walked out the door like any other day, and drove to my dentist appointment. Yee-haw. I will continue with the bookstore a few extra hours in the month of July, but otherwise plan to spend some time relaxing and fiddling around the house. I am not exactly sure yet when I have to start working at UT but I imagine it will be the first week of August.

Philosophy

I found this piece at the mall as I was engaging in some retail therapy. It now resides on my desk to remind me of who I really am when times get tough.

Illusions

I was sitting at my desk in my office today when one of my coworkers came in to unwind after a session with one of her clients. She pointed out my window toward the parking lot at a heavyset older lady in a van, and mentioned that this lady was the lesbian grandma of her client. The other scruffy woman walking up to the van was the girlfriend of the grandmother. Not a pretty sight, to tell you the truth.

To add a bit more spice to the scene, Granny makes a nice living as a phone sex operator.

If a picture tells a thousand words, what I wouldn't give to have a photo of her to post here. If only those callers knew who they were really talking with. Yikes!!

Sanibel trip report

Well, we just returned from our annual vacation. This year, we decided to try something different... for us.

Left May 30, drove to O'Leno State Park north of Gainesville, FL to camp, then continued on the next day to Sanibel Island, FL, to spend a week. We were trying to hold costs down this year, so we thought a traditional beach vacation within driving distance might be the ticket. Sanibel was nice, but it wasn't really what I was expecting even though I'm not sure exactly what that was. It was pretty but not spectacular, a very sleepy place, and I didn't see wildlife like I was hoping. I think I would rather visit the SC and GA beaches before driving all the way to south Florida again.

LOVED our luxe condo, which was a good thing since we were in it so much due to being SICK during most of our trip! I had already been ill for a few days when we left, and finally after 4 days on the island and no signs of improvement, we both went to see a doctor. I say "we" because Don was coming down with it, too. I was fatigued, coughing constantly, with the most persistent sore throat I've ever had, and was losing my voice. We ended up with 10 days of 3x/day antibiotics as well as a bunch of other stuff to try to help us feel better. Even now, I'm still coughing. The good thing about all of this was, all I felt like doing was laying on the beach, so I have a killer tan to show off now!

Toward the end of the week, we did force ourselves to venture out and do a few things since we were beginning to feel better. Canoed the trails on Tarpon Bay, took a wonderful sunset cruise off Captiva Island, and visited Key Largo for some snorkeling off the reefs.

After Sanibel, we drove back north to Hillsborough River State Park to camp while we spent a few days at Busch Gardens and Adventure Island in Tampa Bay. Busch Gardens was basically a zoo with some roller coasters... so of course I loved it! Adventure Island was fun but Whitewater in Atlanta is way better. After the waterpark, we decided to drive on home, so we left Tampa Bay and arrived home last night at 3:30 am.

It was such a strange trip this year. Don and I spent a lot of time either apart or in silence since one of us would often be resting, plus it was physically uncomfortable for me to even talk. We usually chatter and laugh nonstop but this time, neither of us felt like it.

I don't think we're cut out to be "beach people". Even though I was sick, I was still a little bored if that makes any sense. If there was ever a time to be ill on vacation then this was it since we were in the most comfortable place imaginable, but I still think that for future vacations we are going to have to have more excitement. I CRAVE that week of adrenaline and crazy adventures; we can "relax" at home for free!

Anyway, we're glad to be home, and I hope to get some pics up soon.

Oh, what a night!

On Saturday, Don and I traveled to Asheville to witness the marriage ceremony of my friends Tamara and Rick. It was a perfect day for an outdoor wedding at the Biltmore!

We arrived early and wandered around the gardens for a bit, snapping a few pics here and there and anticipating the exciting evening ahead.

Tamara and Rick chose to have their ceremony in the Butterfly Garden outside of the Conservatory. I cannot imagine a more elegant setting! Wow! Secluded, so beautiful, like being in a dream...

A string quartet provided the music as Tamara and her father made their way down the steps. Her dress looked like a Maggie for those who are familiar with such things. It was beautiful. Tamara made it stunning.

The ceremony itself was simple, intimate, and heartfelt. We could see Rick crying happy tears as he said his vows, so of course the rest of us got choked up in response! And I felt like my own heart was overflowing with happiness for my friend. Tamara and I shared so much together as single women... vacations, problematic co-workers, silly nights out, awkward singles group activities, hours-long deep conversations... and how beautiful to see her now as a glowing bride.

After the ceremony we traveled across the estate to the winery. The reception was held in the Champagne Cellar to which we were escorted behind the velvet ropes. No kidding, I felt like Cinderella the whole night, and I wasn't even the one getting married! The Cellar was, again, like a dream. Small secret room built from old stone, perfect lighting for perfect ambiance, live jazz musicians, 3 tables of 10 for our small group of celebrants.

We helped ourselves to the open bar and tray-passed appetizers, then found our seating. Don and I were assigned to what we all dubbed the "kids table". No children were present, but it was obvious that we were the table of young friends while the other two tables were middle-aged and elderly family members of Tamara and Rick. We had an absolute blast with our tablemates! I was expecting that, though. If Tamara and Rick are smart enough to choose us as friends then their other buddies had to be equally terrific, LOL. And they were!

Conversation and laughter flowed easily, and the night flew by. We even scored an invitation to continue the festivities with some others at this one guy's nearby cabin to spend the night, but declined since we'd already checked into our room in Asheville. We definitely had a blast mingling with the other guests.

Oh, and the FOOD!!!

And here's to the happy couple:

Congratulations, Rick and Tamara! Thank you for inviting us to celebrate with you and to be a part of your day. It was fun, warm, hopeful, and full of love... just like you.

Happy birthday to me!

Celebrated my 29th today. I've always dreaded this one. I remember when my mother turned 29. Our neighbor came over to give her a gift that day. I was five. For some reason, that memory makes me feel really old and... behind. I can't imagine having 2 kids in grade school, like Mom did when she celebrated this day for herself.

In spite of that, it's been a great day! I am blessed with amazing friends and family who never fail to come through and spoil me rotten on May 18. ;) This year I feel like I've had a whole week of festivities, culminating in a party with some friends this afternoon:

Chris

My husband teases me because I google people. A lot. Anyone I'm curious about... friends, coworkers, fellow alumni, whoever, they're all game. I find real life to be so much more interesting than fiction, and the people I know tend to provide much entertainment in that aspect.

Ex-boyfriends? Yeah, I google them too (if I can remember their names, lol). I have no interest in contacting any of them, but I can't help being curious about what they're doing with their lives now. I cared about each of them for a time, and obviously part of me still does.

Probably the most disappointing result was finding one ex's profile on a sex personals ad. NO, I wasn't trolling the sex ads for my own use, but I know the screenname he uses for all of his online dealings, therefore his ad popped up in a google search. What a letdown; I'm actually embarassed for him. He's an extremely good-looking guy who surely wouldn't have that much of a problem finding women.

So the other day, I heard a song on the radio that reminded me of Chris. We met the weekend after September 11, 2001 and hit it off immediately. What I remember most about Chris is that he was just FUN. The two of us together were like a comedy duo, no joke! We were even offered jobs by a total stranger while we were shopping at Wal-Mart... this other customer had seen us several times around the store and we constantly had him cracking up. Chris had a bit of a rebel past including a minor criminal record, and looked the part with myriad tattoos and body piercings (including some in places that made me a bit squeamish). However, when we met he was back in school at UT, kicking butt on their forensics team, and was going to church. There's so much more I could say about him, but rather go overboard with details, I'll just say he's a great guy and leave it at that.

We dated for a few months before I performed my classic Amber move and dumped him, which was the most painful breakup I ever had but something just didn't feel right and it wasn't fair to him to keep it going. The next girl he dated after me turned out to be his future wife.

So, yesterday after hearing that song, I googled him. He is actually a PASTOR now! I practically hit the floor. Found out that he went to seminary in Kentucky starting in 2005, and is currently serving somewhere in our area. I never would've predicted that he would go that path, but after I got over the initial shock I realized that he would be so effective in the ministry.

I feel like I finally have real closure with him. After learning about what he's doing now, I finally feel like everything's okay. He's doing amazing work with his life. His heart's pure and right, and surely in far better condition than my own. I wish I could tell him how proud I am of what he has become.

But I won't. Sometimes things are simply better left unsaid.

Oooohhhh, if I got my hands on that...

I headed up to DC this weekend to spend some time with my dear friend Christine. She has just endured a very bitter breakup, so I threw my bags in the car and hightailed it up there to provide moral support. I didn't know what else to do but go.

That's pretty much all I can say about that. Suffice it to say that it's best there were no men around for the weekend.

Really random notes from the trip:

Christine lives in a very old, quaint rowhouse in Old Town Alexandria. The second-floor bathroom has no ventilation, requiring the window to be cracked whenever anyone uses the shower. As I was pulling the curtain back after my shower, I accidentally knocked over a tower of someone's bath products near the window and things went tumbling everywhere. I was concerned that something went flying out the window. Sure enough, here we were outside at about 1 am, and here's the escapee:

Christine and Rebecca (one of her roommates) both have a wacky sense of humor. I love visiting them because I always fit right in; their place is like a second home for me. This evidence of their quirkiness makes me laugh every time:

Here's the view of their lovely neighborhood taken from their front steps. It's not a great picture and obviously I didn't put much thought into it. It's literally only steps away from all of the lively shopping and cafes on King St.

If you like to talk to tomatoes...

OK, here we are!

Aren't we cute?

The Bob costume is actually a cheery-looking torture device. Simply getting in and out of the thing required the service of several people, and most of the time it was the guys who were helping me which was fairly awkward. I had to wear a large metal backpack which held the rechargable battery and provided structure to Bob's body. The backpack left bruises on the top of my head and my hips where they dug into my flesh. As you can see from the picture, my hands extended outside of the costume and it was impossible to adjust the costume, scratch an itch, or otherwise do anything for myself once I had the gloves on! Not only that, but I had zero peripheral vision and could not hear from the fan blowing inside of the outfit (it kept Bob inflated). I was blind, deaf, and helpless, not to mention ROASTING! So... that's the inside scoop. It was an interesting experience to say the least. I actually have respect for the poor souls who play Disney characters now!

But don't believe my whining... it was totally worth it...

News!!!!!

Sometimes I really dig a perfectly ordinary day. Like today. Slept in, exhibited at an event for my job, did a very small bit of shopping at the mall, then came home to clean out my car and do the bi-annual wardrobe swap where I exchange my cold-weather duds for my much-more-fun shorts and sundresses. Spring is in full bloom here and it's impossible to be in a bad mood when everything surrounding me is so beautiful!

I am so excited that I have quite a few things to look forward to. Here's a few:

- Tomorrow's the grand opening for our new store. Guess who gets to be Bob the Tomato?? Eric's playing Larry. It's going to be hilarious!

- Next month, my good buddy Tamara's getting married!!! I'm so happy for her. She's the gal who spent a week with me in Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island a few years back. Tamara and her cutie fiance are tying the knot in Asheville at the Biltmore Estate, then having a dinner reception in the champagne cellar there. She deserves the royal treatment and I'm so glad she's getting it! As for me, today I bought a hot new dress for the occasion. I've had my eye on it for weeks and it finally went on sale. Woo-hoo!!

- The day after Tamara's wedding is my birthday. Don and I will go out and do pretty much whatever I want, and I know my gals from my Monday-nite get-togethers are going to want to do something to celebrate, too. We're a little crazy like that.

- The end of May/beginning of June is our annual vacation. We decided to go to Sanibel Island this year. We reserved a gorgeous condo for a week, plan to drive to Key Largo for some snorkeling one day, and hit Busch Gardens in Tampa on the way back home.

- In August, I START SCHOOL!!!!!! Yes, I'm finally going back! Full-time, even! I'll be working on my master's degree in information sciences at the University of Tennessee. I wish I could go ahead and start today!

- We just booked our flights to go to Costa Rica next January. My parents very generously donated their award miles to me and my dh. What an amazing gift! We selected Costa Rica for several reasons... volcanoes, rain forests and accompanying tropical wildlife, beaches, warm in January (we had no other choice of time to go - long story), it's relatively safe, and the American dollar has actually been increasing in buying power there over the past few years. I am so excited about all of the research I will be doing over the coming months to arrange our trip... dreaming about it is half the fun!

I am so happy and thankful for the way things are going. I know that the sun will not always shine so brightly on me... that's life. But I will bask in it for now, and be grateful for every minute!

Updates

I've intended to do better about posting, but I can't seem to find the time anymore!

The dh & I drove to NJ last weekend to visit his fam. The visit was very pleasant and truly exceeded my expectations in every aspect. Nothing against anyone personally, but the past few times I've been around Don's parents, there has been some sort of disaster involved! Not this time, though. We stayed with Don's cousin John and Beth, John's fiancee. I had not met her before, but had met many of John's friends in the past, so let's just say I had no idea what to expect! I was grateful to find in her a kindred spirit... she's so happy and friendly, and I liked her immediately. What a blessing she is to John and to our family!

I do enjoy visiting NJ. I can see how it would be appealing... the gorgeous old colonial neighborhoods, bustling downtowns, vibrant immigrant culture, authentic Italian pizzerias on every corner. However, I couldn't take being there long term... gotta have my space to stretch out and get away from people.

Today was moving day for our store... we've relocated from our cramped 35-yr-old building with overflowing toilets to a spacious, stylish, sparkling new facility. It's truly beautiful, but will take some getting used to due to its size. I actually cried today as I walked out of our old haunt for the last time. I have so many wonderful memories there... and I'm sure I will at our new place too... but the sentimental side of me really wasn't prepared for the way it would feel to leave! I know God has used the experiences I've had there to shape me into being a better person, and I look forward to seeing how He'll continue to mold me through my position there.

Got a call from a dear friend today. It was one of those strange occasions when you see the person's name on the caller ID and immediately know something is wrong. My heart dropped to my stomach, and as I answered the phone, I was so grateful that I was on break and had some free time for about an hour. Unfortunately, my instincts were correct. I really can't say much about that conversation other than by the end of it, I felt like dropping to my knees and thanking God for all the things I take for granted. And my heart is breaking for this precious girl who I consider to be my sister.

I have so many other things that I wish I could post, but it's not just time for that yet. ;) Hopefully soon!

A moment to rest

Yesterday, Don and I enjoyed another Smokies hike, this time on the western edge of the park. We hiked the trails for the back way into Abrams Falls via Abrams Creek Campground; round trip was somewhere around 11+ challenging miles. I know that most people wouldn't consider a trek like that to be relaxing, but I can't think of a better way to clear my mind!

We enjoyed these trails so much... the creek, gorge, waterfalls, beautiful forest. We found some terrific spots for backcountry camping which we hope to do the next time we get more than one day off together (who knows when that will be?).

April looks to be a long month. Our store is moving across town, adding staff, and expanding our hours, and I've agreed to work as many additional hours as I can possibly fit into my schedule. I'm also still working my other job 20 hrs/week, and trying to squeeze in an occasional day off with Don. So, this week I've got 13.5 hour days until Friday morning, when I'll be up at the crack of dawn to drive us to NJ to visit Don's family, then we'll travel back home on Monday to begin another week just like the one before it. I'm just thankful that it's all only temporary!

**********************

What an amazing, original talent that American Idol coughed up this year. David Cook should win!

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My Tuesday in Cataloochee

Excerpts from my post on TripAdvisor:


Finally, the stars and planets all aligned for my dh and I to spend a day in the mountains! We left Knoxville between 9-9:30, took I-40 to NC exit 20, then drove Cove Creek Rd into Cataloochee. Funny how the weather was so different when we got there. The forecast for Knoxville was 69 and partly sunny, but it was gray and in the 50's all day in the mountains. Still, a terrific day for hiking!

We selected the Caldwell Fork and Boogerman trails to start us off for 2008. We were advised that the best way to tackle the Boogerman was to hike Caldwell Fork 2.8 miles in to the 2nd Boogerman trail junction instead of turning onto the Boogerman at the first junction at 0.8 miles. This was said to be preferable due to the elevation changes over the course of the Boogerman trail... more on that later...

If you love mountain streams (and crossing them), then you would love the Caldwell Fork trail! I cannot count the number of times we wobbled across log bridges and hopped across on rocks. The trail continually weaved back and forth across the creek. At one point, the creek WAS the trail for about 50 feet or so, and some creativity was in order for us to continue on. Apparently, having to wade here is not uncommon. Also, horses use Caldwell Fork, so mud is definitely an issue. For these reasons, I would not recommend hiking this trail after a rain unless you seriously don't care about being wet or muddy. We managed to make it thru unscathed, which was a very good thing since it was cool outside.

The Caldwell Fork trail pretty much followed the stream and had a barely noticeable incline, but the scenery definitely changed once we turned onto the Boogerman. We immediately turned away from the stream and began climbing over the next mile (the brown book lists it as a 700 foot elevation gain, which isn't really that much for me but may be for others). This path took us through dense forest and past several interesting stone walls. I'm not sure why the walls were there, really... was kind of a random sight. After that first mile+, we crested the hill and the rest of the Boogerman (almost 3 miles worth) was all downhill! We got to relax and enjoy the trail instead of chugging uphill the majority of the time had we taken the first Boogerman entrance from Caldwell Fork. We're not really masochists, so we were happy to take the easier route!

Considering the length of this trail (6.6 miles roundtrip) and my personal experience, I would say this loop was a 4 or 5 in difficulty on the scale of 1-10 for trails which I've completed (with Gregory Ridge to Gregory Bald being a 10 for a point of reference). The loop would definitely be more challenging with more mud and water to contend with! Something else to consider is that neither my dh or I felt this trail had much of a "wow" factor... no exhilarating views or huge waterfalls to gawk at. It was more of a lovely stroll through the woods, which was highly enjoyable, but for hikers who need the motivation of a big payoff in scenery, you're not going to find it on this loop. (That is, unless you're an arborist or something, in which case you'll find plenty of trees to boggle your mind.) We did love that we only saw 2 other people the entire time!

After our hike, we drove farther back into Cataloochee Valley. Wow! I'd been there once a long time ago and had forgotten how beautiful it was! We stopped by the campground first to check it out. Since they make campers pitch their tents on gravel, I think we'll probably pass on ever camping there. On down Cataloochee Road were many elk (50-ish??) grazing in the fields on both sides. They seemed totally unconcerned with the presence of cars (all 3 of them) and would wander into the road and back onto the grass, munching away!

Stopped by the Beech Grove school to take some pictures, and did the same at Palmer Chapel.

Walked around a bit more, just enjoying the scenic valley and the quiet. It's spring break week here right now, and we shuddered to think of the crowds at Cades Cove! Meanwhile, Cataloochee was like having a slice of heaven all to ourselves.

We took the bumpy and winding gravel road (284/Cove Creek) along the eastern edge of the park, past Mount Sterling and Big Creek, and turned toward the Waterville exit on I-40. I was so disappointed to see that Mountain Moma's was closed!!! What's going on with that? When I googled Mountain Moma's, someone said they thought it closed about a year ago which I didn't know since I didn't swim at Big Creek last summer (afraid there'd be no water to swim in!). I'm not sure if it's closed for good or just remodeling, but either way, I hope something useful goes in there. The parking area has been neatly paved, and a nice porch area has been added to the front of the building. It's been cleaned up, but it means nothing to me if I can't get my cheeseburgers and ice cream cones anymore!

After all that, we still made it home in time to heat up some dinner and watch American Idol! :) A lovely day all around!

Back

I know that some have noticed that I had closed this page to "invited readers only". Surprise! I was the only "invited reader" and the closing was not intended to offend anyone in particular. It just felt like time to take a step back and consider if my online ramblings are worth continuing.

What do I have to say that hasn't been said a thousand times already? Not much, really. There are better writers all over the internet, and I'm not trying to pretend to be something I'm not. If you're reading this, I would assume it's because you care about me on some level. So for now, that's the direction I will continue to take in my little corner of cyberspace. It's just me. The quiet-natured, tender-hearted, fun-loving girl straining her way through this big ol' crazy world.

Take it or leave it.

Discipline is not a dirty word

I will be offline for an undetermined amount of time. A few days? A few weeks??

I'm tired of wasting time on things that don't matter.

We receive at least 7 or 8 magazine subscriptions. Most of them were free from cashing in frequent flyer miles, but just because I have them doesn't mean I actually need to read every article. Not to mention browsing the daily paper, another time drain.

Computer games are loads of fun until you realize with guilt that you've been playing for 4 hours and have accomplished absolutely nothing that day. Same with web surfing.

Most of the folks on TripAdvisor don't even know me and will still have a great vacation without my input. So I can excuse myself from that, too.

I WILL miss Anthony Bourdain. Oh well, there's always the VCR, right?

The amount of precious time wasted and garbage deposited into my mind on a daily basis astounded me once I really got to thinking about it. I can't get the wasted hours back, but I can be different starting today.

What does matter...
- Spending time in prayer
- Spending time in Bible study
- Visiting friends who've been sick (when I've been "too busy" to even send a card)
- Fixing decent meals for my husband
- Finishing remodeling the bathroom and generally caring for my house
- Calling my friends more regularly
- Reading books
- Practicing piano so I can play for others instead of selfishly hiding the talent that God's given me
- Keeping my body in shape
- Volunteering
- Having fun in moderation, not living only to please myself

I normally wouldn't even post something like this, but knowing that other people know will hold me accountable. And I need accountability!

So... if you miss me, pick up the phone. I promise I'll have time to talk. :)

And if you think of it, say a little prayer for me, too.

No reservations at all

When we got our cable internet last month, we also signed up for the El Cheapo cable TV deal, that $12/month very limited package. We didn't really need it, but it was a great deal with our internet, so why not? Imagine my surprise when I realized that somehow we got the Travel Channel along with our major networks and QVC!

Unfortunately, now I'm obsessed with this man:



Fearless, witty, effortlessly cool, occasionally grouchy, strangely appealing, and old enough to be my father. I can't get enough of Anthony Bourdain and his show, "No Reservations".

A camera crew follows him as he travels the world eating entrails. I zone out on the disgusting scenes, but the rest of it's a riot!

Thrilled to have a new home!

Well, I finally broke down and moved my blog here to blogspot. I am looking forward to learning the site and am so excited to be using a much better program (although that isn't saying much compared to myblog.com!).

To my past readers, thanks for following me over here, and for you first-timers, welcome!

FYI... I have finally posted a pic, for those of you who are DYING to know what I look like. Too bad it's from Halloween!