Not much exciting happening here. *yawn* Christmas shopping's almost done, hope to finish it tomorrow. Am busy either at church, volunteering, or working. Somehow went from having nothing to do to having too much!
My mom and stepdad were passing through town over the weekend on their way to Atlanta. I think they decided for Bob to rent an apartment for a little while by himself in Atlanta and then retire in WV sometime in the middle of next year. I didn't realize what was happening with my stepdad... I knew Bob was stressed about his job but I wasn't aware of what else was happening in his heart. He is terrified of retiring! He has no idea what he will do with himself when he doesn't have to go to work... he's spent 35 years with CSX and has supported himself since he was 15. He doesn't have any hobbies aside from playing sports which he really can't do anymore. He actually cried a bit during lunch on Sunday. I think it's all the stress from the life changes that's getting to him. Even though this next year will probably be one of his most difficult ever, I hope that this time in his life will blossom into something beautiful. God has a way of doing that when we have faith in Him.
I got a promotion at my job... I'm going to be a "lead" which is short of a manager but allows me to open and close the store and do other random stuff. I was surprised that I was tapped for that since I've only been there about 2 weeks but I am always grateful for a learning opportunity. I have no idea where all of this is going to go or how long I'm going to stay at the store, but I'm still having a blast so I might as well take advantage of that for a little while!
I've decided to approach this time as "active waiting"... doing my best at the tasks set before me, learning and growing as much as I can, and practicing PATIENCE until I feel that God's leading me elsewhere. He has me at the store for a reason... reasons which I don't understand... but someday I know I'll be able to look back and see how the pieces of the puzzle fit together perfectly. I feel at peace with being there right now, and have been encouraged in my work there, so I know I'm doing the right thing...
"When I said, "my foot is slipping,"
your love, O Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought joy to my soul."
- Psalm 94:18-19
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Popcorn notes
Sure am glad to have 2 days off in a row. I spent most of the day at Mission of Hope, working the phones. I always enjoy myself there... I never really know what's going to be happening each day. Today I talked to one of the local news anchors three times... the guy was panicking because one of our guys was supposed to be on his show in 30 minutes and hadn't gotten to the studio yet. It worked out ok... I turned on the TV and saw that he made it. It was sorta funny as it was all unfolding, though. I really love how the ministry just keeps growing. We expect to help about 14,000 kids this year. Sweet!
Don and I don't have big plans for Thanksgiving. We both have to work on Friday so we can't leave town to celebrate with our families, and since we don't have anyone here to get together with, we figured we'd hang out in our pajamas, eat frozen lasagna, and decorate the house for Christmas. Last year I didn't have the motivation to dig out all of my Christmas stuff, and all we had up was a Christmas tree with straggly lights and nothing else. I promised Don that we'd do better this year, so we'll see how it goes.
Am I the only grown woman in the country who still loves Kool-Aid? Most days, I'd rather have that than anything else. I am such a dork!!
Don got the book "A Treasure's Trove" some time ago, and neither one of us got anywhere with deciphering the clues to find the tokens leading to the jewels. I checked the status of the tokens tonight on the website and saw that they'd all been found. 2 of them were only 2-3 hours from here. Arrrrghhhh.... I should've tried harder!
Sometimes I still can't believe that I put up with the nursing home as long as I did. How did I manage that for so long? Life is actually fun again, and I can't believe I ever let myself buy into the belief that the money I was making was so much more important than our happiness. I saw a segment on a news show today about a couple who gave up their careers to work as houseparents at a ranch for troubled kids. The husband and wife both said that even though they sacrificed their financial dreams, they were overwhelmingly happy and excited about the path their lives are taking, and they wouldn't have it any other way. I could easily see me and Don doing something like that. Maybe we should. ??? I don't know. We're young! The doors have been thrown wide open for us... now it's just a matter of me trusting God to lead us through.
Don and I don't have big plans for Thanksgiving. We both have to work on Friday so we can't leave town to celebrate with our families, and since we don't have anyone here to get together with, we figured we'd hang out in our pajamas, eat frozen lasagna, and decorate the house for Christmas. Last year I didn't have the motivation to dig out all of my Christmas stuff, and all we had up was a Christmas tree with straggly lights and nothing else. I promised Don that we'd do better this year, so we'll see how it goes.
Am I the only grown woman in the country who still loves Kool-Aid? Most days, I'd rather have that than anything else. I am such a dork!!
Don got the book "A Treasure's Trove" some time ago, and neither one of us got anywhere with deciphering the clues to find the tokens leading to the jewels. I checked the status of the tokens tonight on the website and saw that they'd all been found. 2 of them were only 2-3 hours from here. Arrrrghhhh.... I should've tried harder!
Sometimes I still can't believe that I put up with the nursing home as long as I did. How did I manage that for so long? Life is actually fun again, and I can't believe I ever let myself buy into the belief that the money I was making was so much more important than our happiness. I saw a segment on a news show today about a couple who gave up their careers to work as houseparents at a ranch for troubled kids. The husband and wife both said that even though they sacrificed their financial dreams, they were overwhelmingly happy and excited about the path their lives are taking, and they wouldn't have it any other way. I could easily see me and Don doing something like that. Maybe we should. ??? I don't know. We're young! The doors have been thrown wide open for us... now it's just a matter of me trusting God to lead us through.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
She knew Jimi Hendrix
I met an interesting woman in the bookstore the other day. She actually carries around copies of her story to share with people, and I thought I'd pass it on here.
Sandi Fatow's Story...
Little did I ever imagine that October 1, 1970 would alter the course of history for my life.
My life up till that point had been a ship tossed on the sea of life. It started young with drinking. Then I was introduced to marijuana, which was the first of many drugs -- LSD, peyote, cocaine, amphetamines, downers, and finally, heroin addiction. The drug life introduced me to a whole new world.
While living in Miami, I became involved with the criminal element. It spiraled to one of my boyfriends being on the FBI "10 Most Wanted" list and receiving 99 years and life; another of my boyfriends died a few years ago in the Florida State Prison electric chair, and a third boyfriend is presently doing 45 years in Atlanta Federal Prison.
Running constantly from New Jersey to Miami also got me involved with many rock musicians. My girlfriend, Denise, became Jimi Hendrix's girlfriend, and I started seeing Hendrix's bass player, Noel Redding. Denise and I are pictured on Hendrix's "Electric Ladyland" album. His death was so shocking to me. He seemed to have everything, yet ended with nothing.
My family had no idea I was a drug user. My dad financed a beautiful boutique for me in New Jersey, and with a business, I felt I could quit heroin but Harlem was too close, and dope was too cheap. It wasn't long before I was beat for my money, morals, and mind.
One day I went to the murder trial of a 17 year old I knew. Going into the Miami Dade County courthouse, a friend called from the jail to me. He told me to go to a Christian rehab center called Surfside Challenge and get the preacher to come and help him. I went and not only received help for him, but for myself also. I was told that Jesus Christ could change my life.
Perhaps at this point you are ready to toss this testimony away and say, "Aw, just a junkie who got converted!" But you are so wrong. Heroin addiction was the effect, not the cause. Sin was the cause.
After meeting Christians who were full of real joy and peace, I decided to kick drugs "cold turkey". After 18 hours I was terribly sick with withdrawals. There was a prayer meeting going that night and as the believers laid their hands on me I was completely healed. This was a 20th century miracle. That night I gave my life to Jesus and was born again. Getting right with God was so simple, yet I had never heard the plan of salvation. I had a personal encounter with Jesus Christ which has kept me until this very hour. He loves you too, friend, and wants to come into your heart today! Please pray this prayer:
"Jesus, I need you. Come into my heart. Forgive me for everything. Thank you for dying for me that I might have eternal life."
God bless you right now.
This is a true story. I am presently residing with my born-again Jewish husband and two children. I am enjoying the happiest time of my life.
You too may experience this joy.
2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold all things new."
Sandi told me that she now works in prisons, ministering to the inmates. She is still beautiful, even in her late 50's, and has a charming personality that surely makes it easy for her to form friendships with people who need her most. She attends Trinity Chapel in Knoxville.
Sandi Fatow's Story...
Little did I ever imagine that October 1, 1970 would alter the course of history for my life.
My life up till that point had been a ship tossed on the sea of life. It started young with drinking. Then I was introduced to marijuana, which was the first of many drugs -- LSD, peyote, cocaine, amphetamines, downers, and finally, heroin addiction. The drug life introduced me to a whole new world.
While living in Miami, I became involved with the criminal element. It spiraled to one of my boyfriends being on the FBI "10 Most Wanted" list and receiving 99 years and life; another of my boyfriends died a few years ago in the Florida State Prison electric chair, and a third boyfriend is presently doing 45 years in Atlanta Federal Prison.
Running constantly from New Jersey to Miami also got me involved with many rock musicians. My girlfriend, Denise, became Jimi Hendrix's girlfriend, and I started seeing Hendrix's bass player, Noel Redding. Denise and I are pictured on Hendrix's "Electric Ladyland" album. His death was so shocking to me. He seemed to have everything, yet ended with nothing.
My family had no idea I was a drug user. My dad financed a beautiful boutique for me in New Jersey, and with a business, I felt I could quit heroin but Harlem was too close, and dope was too cheap. It wasn't long before I was beat for my money, morals, and mind.
One day I went to the murder trial of a 17 year old I knew. Going into the Miami Dade County courthouse, a friend called from the jail to me. He told me to go to a Christian rehab center called Surfside Challenge and get the preacher to come and help him. I went and not only received help for him, but for myself also. I was told that Jesus Christ could change my life.
Perhaps at this point you are ready to toss this testimony away and say, "Aw, just a junkie who got converted!" But you are so wrong. Heroin addiction was the effect, not the cause. Sin was the cause.
After meeting Christians who were full of real joy and peace, I decided to kick drugs "cold turkey". After 18 hours I was terribly sick with withdrawals. There was a prayer meeting going that night and as the believers laid their hands on me I was completely healed. This was a 20th century miracle. That night I gave my life to Jesus and was born again. Getting right with God was so simple, yet I had never heard the plan of salvation. I had a personal encounter with Jesus Christ which has kept me until this very hour. He loves you too, friend, and wants to come into your heart today! Please pray this prayer:
"Jesus, I need you. Come into my heart. Forgive me for everything. Thank you for dying for me that I might have eternal life."
God bless you right now.
This is a true story. I am presently residing with my born-again Jewish husband and two children. I am enjoying the happiest time of my life.
You too may experience this joy.
2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold all things new."
Sandi told me that she now works in prisons, ministering to the inmates. She is still beautiful, even in her late 50's, and has a charming personality that surely makes it easy for her to form friendships with people who need her most. She attends Trinity Chapel in Knoxville.
Friday, November 18, 2005
People who surprise me
I haven't posted in over a week, which is unusual for me. I think that for awhile, I was spending way too much time online... I'd get bored and come in here and turn the computer on. Now it seems like I don't have enough time for all of the things I want to get done! What was it about the grass being greener...?
There were a few job possibilities that I was excited about, but neither of them worked out. That's fine. I really don't take it personally... I know that when I was hiring people, I didn't interview a lot of perfectly capable applicants because there happened to be only a few who were exactly what I was looking for. So anyway, I actually made a decision (woo-hoo!) and called the Christian bookstore near my home and had a job with them the next day. I committed to work with them through the holidays, and maybe move on afterwards. They're only open from 10 to 6, and closed on Sundays, so the hours aren't bad at all. I started last Friday and am actually loving it! I wouldn't have guessed that I'd enjoy working so much, especially a job like that, but it's a lot of fun and I really don't even feel like I'm working. The bad part is that I'm getting paid next to nothing, but it's better than what I WAS bringing in, which was $0! It's a great fit for me right now... a low-stress job to give me something to do while I consider my other options.
One thing that surprises me about where I work is the quality of my coworkers. Nearly everyone has a college degree or is working on it, and most everyone is in their late 20's or 30's. And they're all Christians who are there because they enjoy serving others. They are just a delightful group of people to be around!
Anyway... what else... I guess that's the biggest news. Don actually fixed our furnace, so now we have heat! We've been surviving with space heaters so far. My parents can't make up their minds now about whether they're really moving to Atlanta or not. My mom and I talked for awhile on the phone today... she was totally cracking me up! When I went home for my long visit, I took our DVD of Napoleon Dynamite for my brother to watch. He didn't like it, but my mom actually did. I accidentally forgot the DVD at their house, and when I talked to my mom today, she told me she's watched it 3 times already and was quoting me all kinds of lines from the movie. I mean, I know my mom's crazy, but THIS surprised me!
We went to the UT game on Saturday and watched the Vols make idiots of themselves (again!) on the field, even though they strangled a win out of it. The worst part about the game was watching this guy change his little girl's diaper with the kid squirming on his lap, then proceeding to place the dirty, leaking diaper under the bench of the guy in front of him and leaving it there. Don and I were both dumbfounded as we were unfortunate enough to be observing (and smelling) this from the row directly behind this goober. Come ON, people!! I mean, I know there are gonna be times when you're in a bind with your kids, but there was NO excuse for this! The kid was probably 3 years old, and both parents were there so one of them easily could've assisted the other one. I wanted to say something to him, but I wasn't sure what! I finally figured it out as I was leaving the stadium. All I needed to do was tap him on the shoulder and casually point to the diaper and tell him, "hey, you forgot your diaper". Just like I would tell someone if they left their purse or jacket, like I was assuming that they innocently forgot it. They still probably wouldn't have gotten the hint, but at least I would've tried. These were the same kind of people who would invite you over for dinner and allow their cat to walk on the table and eat off your plate. Nasty!
There were a few job possibilities that I was excited about, but neither of them worked out. That's fine. I really don't take it personally... I know that when I was hiring people, I didn't interview a lot of perfectly capable applicants because there happened to be only a few who were exactly what I was looking for. So anyway, I actually made a decision (woo-hoo!) and called the Christian bookstore near my home and had a job with them the next day. I committed to work with them through the holidays, and maybe move on afterwards. They're only open from 10 to 6, and closed on Sundays, so the hours aren't bad at all. I started last Friday and am actually loving it! I wouldn't have guessed that I'd enjoy working so much, especially a job like that, but it's a lot of fun and I really don't even feel like I'm working. The bad part is that I'm getting paid next to nothing, but it's better than what I WAS bringing in, which was $0! It's a great fit for me right now... a low-stress job to give me something to do while I consider my other options.
One thing that surprises me about where I work is the quality of my coworkers. Nearly everyone has a college degree or is working on it, and most everyone is in their late 20's or 30's. And they're all Christians who are there because they enjoy serving others. They are just a delightful group of people to be around!
Anyway... what else... I guess that's the biggest news. Don actually fixed our furnace, so now we have heat! We've been surviving with space heaters so far. My parents can't make up their minds now about whether they're really moving to Atlanta or not. My mom and I talked for awhile on the phone today... she was totally cracking me up! When I went home for my long visit, I took our DVD of Napoleon Dynamite for my brother to watch. He didn't like it, but my mom actually did. I accidentally forgot the DVD at their house, and when I talked to my mom today, she told me she's watched it 3 times already and was quoting me all kinds of lines from the movie. I mean, I know my mom's crazy, but THIS surprised me!
We went to the UT game on Saturday and watched the Vols make idiots of themselves (again!) on the field, even though they strangled a win out of it. The worst part about the game was watching this guy change his little girl's diaper with the kid squirming on his lap, then proceeding to place the dirty, leaking diaper under the bench of the guy in front of him and leaving it there. Don and I were both dumbfounded as we were unfortunate enough to be observing (and smelling) this from the row directly behind this goober. Come ON, people!! I mean, I know there are gonna be times when you're in a bind with your kids, but there was NO excuse for this! The kid was probably 3 years old, and both parents were there so one of them easily could've assisted the other one. I wanted to say something to him, but I wasn't sure what! I finally figured it out as I was leaving the stadium. All I needed to do was tap him on the shoulder and casually point to the diaper and tell him, "hey, you forgot your diaper". Just like I would tell someone if they left their purse or jacket, like I was assuming that they innocently forgot it. They still probably wouldn't have gotten the hint, but at least I would've tried. These were the same kind of people who would invite you over for dinner and allow their cat to walk on the table and eat off your plate. Nasty!
Saturday, November 5, 2005
Strawberry wine
Today I decided to treat myself to a day in the mountains! Why not? Being so close to some of the prettiest countryside anywhere, it would be a shame to miss it in all of its fall splendor. So off I went, weather's sunny and 75 degrees, windows down, sunroof up, music up loud, with 20 bucks in my pocket and a tank full of gas. I took lots of pictures, hiked a bit, had lunch in a restaurant overlooking the New River Gorge where hawks were flying waaaaaaaay up overhead. Many of those places that I passed by were places that I'd been with old friends or old boyfriends or my family when I was younger. A perfect day for a drive down memory lane...
Isn't it strange how a person can be so close to you for a time and then they fade out of your life so easily? It made me a little sad as I was thinking about it. For example, I drove by WVU Tech today, the alma mater of two of my former flames. One of them was the first person I was ever significantly crazy about (which was never mutual), and the other guy was the first person who was ever truly in love with me (also never mutual). For a long time, I was very close to both of them, and both relationships ended abruptly. I thought about them today and I actually miss both of those people. Not because I wonder what might've been... I am very happy in my marriage and have no desire to contact either of those guys. It's more that I still care about them as solid, interesting people who added a lot to my life. But life goes on, we all move on, time passes, and that's the end of that. I just wish there was a better way, some magical world where I could actually continue to have meaningful friendships with all of those people who've taken up residence in my heart for a time. A land of endless visits... of lively discussions around campfires, Krispy Kreme runs, Blockbuster nights on the couch, hikes with my girlfriends. A world filled with people who I still deeply care about but never see anymore: my German exchange student, my best friend from high school, my cousins, some former coworkers, my circle of friends in college, and yes, even some old boyfriends. But even if I tracked them down and made the time for them, would they reciprocate? I don't think I really want to know the truth. People are too busy working and having babies and stuff.
Oh well. That's just the way it goes, I guess.
Isn't it strange how a person can be so close to you for a time and then they fade out of your life so easily? It made me a little sad as I was thinking about it. For example, I drove by WVU Tech today, the alma mater of two of my former flames. One of them was the first person I was ever significantly crazy about (which was never mutual), and the other guy was the first person who was ever truly in love with me (also never mutual). For a long time, I was very close to both of them, and both relationships ended abruptly. I thought about them today and I actually miss both of those people. Not because I wonder what might've been... I am very happy in my marriage and have no desire to contact either of those guys. It's more that I still care about them as solid, interesting people who added a lot to my life. But life goes on, we all move on, time passes, and that's the end of that. I just wish there was a better way, some magical world where I could actually continue to have meaningful friendships with all of those people who've taken up residence in my heart for a time. A land of endless visits... of lively discussions around campfires, Krispy Kreme runs, Blockbuster nights on the couch, hikes with my girlfriends. A world filled with people who I still deeply care about but never see anymore: my German exchange student, my best friend from high school, my cousins, some former coworkers, my circle of friends in college, and yes, even some old boyfriends. But even if I tracked them down and made the time for them, would they reciprocate? I don't think I really want to know the truth. People are too busy working and having babies and stuff.
Oh well. That's just the way it goes, I guess.
Thursday, November 3, 2005
wandering in the desert
I have been officially unemployed for 2 months now, taking my voluntary sabbatical from life to reassess my goals and figure out what I'm really supposed to be doing with my workweek that will leave me fulfilled both personally and in my bank account. The sorry thing is that I've had all this time to "reflect", and I don't think I'm one step closer today to the answer than when I started. Frustrating!
Should I go get my master's? Should I go to school for 3 more years to earn a useful degree where I'll make great money in a good career but I'm not bubbling over with excitement about the job? Should I do a 2 year program in a field I'll love but I'll have horrible hours and would need to move? Should I just do a certificate program and hope for the best? Or maybe I should forget the whole idea of school and just find something, ANYTHING full-time? What about getting a part-time secretary or retail job just to have something to do until I can "find myself"? What if that day never comes? Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Still up here in WV, think I'll stay through the end of the week. I'm really lucky to have a great husband who supports me in my crazy whims. I don't know how many women have marriages where it's OK to fly off to Texas alone, rent a car, and hop around Dallas and Waco just to visit old friends. He even supported me with my disaster relief training to go to New Orleans alone, even though the Red Cross ended up not needing me to go. I can't imagine being married and not be "allowed" to do things anymore, but for a lot of people I know, that's just the way life is. My husband knows that I did far crazier things when I was single and I lived to tell about it, so he might as well trust me. Maybe we're the strange ones. ?? I'm not sure what I was really expecting married life to be like, but we definitely don't tie each other down. The best part is that we love each other even more after we've been apart for awhile! I'm so thankful for him.
Busy day tomorrow. I'm earning a reputation for being a slavedriver around this house. My mom is actually getting stuff done because I'm standing over her and forcing her to make decisions. I'm such a bad, bad girl.
Should I go get my master's? Should I go to school for 3 more years to earn a useful degree where I'll make great money in a good career but I'm not bubbling over with excitement about the job? Should I do a 2 year program in a field I'll love but I'll have horrible hours and would need to move? Should I just do a certificate program and hope for the best? Or maybe I should forget the whole idea of school and just find something, ANYTHING full-time? What about getting a part-time secretary or retail job just to have something to do until I can "find myself"? What if that day never comes? Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Still up here in WV, think I'll stay through the end of the week. I'm really lucky to have a great husband who supports me in my crazy whims. I don't know how many women have marriages where it's OK to fly off to Texas alone, rent a car, and hop around Dallas and Waco just to visit old friends. He even supported me with my disaster relief training to go to New Orleans alone, even though the Red Cross ended up not needing me to go. I can't imagine being married and not be "allowed" to do things anymore, but for a lot of people I know, that's just the way life is. My husband knows that I did far crazier things when I was single and I lived to tell about it, so he might as well trust me. Maybe we're the strange ones. ?? I'm not sure what I was really expecting married life to be like, but we definitely don't tie each other down. The best part is that we love each other even more after we've been apart for awhile! I'm so thankful for him.
Busy day tomorrow. I'm earning a reputation for being a slavedriver around this house. My mom is actually getting stuff done because I'm standing over her and forcing her to make decisions. I'm such a bad, bad girl.
Wednesday, November 2, 2005
Judgmental Christians
It seems this issue has come into my mind several times over the past three days now so I might as well explore it here. Tonight I was watching the Amazing Race and was once again disgusted with one of the teams. The Weaver family from Florida is thoroughly hated by everyone else competing on the show because they are loud, obnoxious, and just flat-out annoying. But what REALLY bothers me is how their actions and words are so incongruent. When the season first started, I was impressed that a family would actually pray on camera and was happy to see that the producers would actually select a Christian team. However, as the season has progressed and tonight especially, I think my opinion of them has hit bottom. These Weaver people are in the car praying "dear God, please help us beat the other teams if that's your will", "dear God, please show us where to go", and then they are making fun of other teams' pictures, wondering how much some women's boobs cost, calling others retards, and generally being completely nasty. This family personifies the very reason why Christians are horribly stereotyped as being holier-than-thou and subsequently hated for it. I mean, nobody's perfect, and most Christians will never profess to be. These people on this show may be my "brothers and sisters", but they have a lot to learn about kindness and humility. They're flagrantly making fools of themselves in Jesus' name, which I find not only embarassing, but very sad on their behalf. I wonder if they'll ever understand how many people they've alienated from Christ because of their nastiness broadcast on national TV.
Another branch on this thought began from our church service on Sunday morning. My pastor was talking about judging others and using Matthew 7:1-7 as the basis for his sermon. He took his message a different direction than I was expecting him to go with it, but I loved it. He was talking about verses 6 and 7, about not throwing your pearls to swine or giving dogs what is sacred. He compared it to putting the Bible out for public ridicule and using it as an example when other people couldn't possibly understand what is really meant by its words. For example: why throw Bible verses into debates with non-Christians about certain issues, such as abortion? Someone who isn't a Christian isn't going to give a crap what the Bible says about it; they're just going to ridicule both the Bible and that person. I can't blame them for that. I probably would too if I didn't already have the faith that I have now.
There is no way any Christian can expect an unbeliever to understand the standards by which we live! Likewise, we can't expect an unbeliever to live by them, either. This is why I'm adamantly opposed to posting the Ten Commandments in courthouses and such. If someone doesn't know Jesus personally, then all of this Bible-verse-quoting about how they should live their lives is only going to push them away. It takes having faith in and a relationship with God before a person would have any desire to believe in what the Bible says. This is something I didn't always understand! In my younger years, before college, I am ashamed to say that I used to be one of those closed-minded Christians who couldn't comprehend how some people could keep screwing up and not care if I was waving a Bible in their face and telling them that they needed to make changes. I was alienating people and I didn't even realize it... I thought I was doing the "loving" thing. I would like to think that I've come a long way since then. Not because I'm trying to be all sensitive and "politically correct", but because God has graciously given me some wisdom through the years... I now see that people's troubles are symptoms of a hurting heart, the same as me. My role is not to preach but to just be gentle and show love. It's a shame that human nature takes something so simple and turns it into a complicated mess!
Another branch on this thought began from our church service on Sunday morning. My pastor was talking about judging others and using Matthew 7:1-7 as the basis for his sermon. He took his message a different direction than I was expecting him to go with it, but I loved it. He was talking about verses 6 and 7, about not throwing your pearls to swine or giving dogs what is sacred. He compared it to putting the Bible out for public ridicule and using it as an example when other people couldn't possibly understand what is really meant by its words. For example: why throw Bible verses into debates with non-Christians about certain issues, such as abortion? Someone who isn't a Christian isn't going to give a crap what the Bible says about it; they're just going to ridicule both the Bible and that person. I can't blame them for that. I probably would too if I didn't already have the faith that I have now.
There is no way any Christian can expect an unbeliever to understand the standards by which we live! Likewise, we can't expect an unbeliever to live by them, either. This is why I'm adamantly opposed to posting the Ten Commandments in courthouses and such. If someone doesn't know Jesus personally, then all of this Bible-verse-quoting about how they should live their lives is only going to push them away. It takes having faith in and a relationship with God before a person would have any desire to believe in what the Bible says. This is something I didn't always understand! In my younger years, before college, I am ashamed to say that I used to be one of those closed-minded Christians who couldn't comprehend how some people could keep screwing up and not care if I was waving a Bible in their face and telling them that they needed to make changes. I was alienating people and I didn't even realize it... I thought I was doing the "loving" thing. I would like to think that I've come a long way since then. Not because I'm trying to be all sensitive and "politically correct", but because God has graciously given me some wisdom through the years... I now see that people's troubles are symptoms of a hurting heart, the same as me. My role is not to preach but to just be gentle and show love. It's a shame that human nature takes something so simple and turns it into a complicated mess!
Tuesday, November 1, 2005
Halloween, West Virginia style
I'm at my parents' in West Virginia right now; drove here late last night on a spur-of-the-moment trip. They're moving to Atlanta after Christmas and this house is full of random stuff and really needs some work! Unfortunately, my stepdad's pulling 16-hour days at work, his health isn't the best, and my mom threw her back out, so it's kind of a tough time for them right now. Since I'm not employed at the moment, I might as well be a good daughter and try to get some work done around the house.
But today was not the day for work! This afternoon I went to my aunt Julie's and took my little cousin Sierra trick-or-treating. I think I had more fun than she did! She's two, she dressed up like a duck, and she was a real trooper for all the walking we did! I got to play mommy and lead her around the same streets I trick-or-treated on as a little girl. I wonder how much time it'll take for it to get all over town that I had a baby? Especially when I didn't? Ha ha...
It's always so strange to come back here to my parents' house. For one thing, I won't have a home to come back to before long, and that hasn't really sunk in for me yet. That'll be hard. But it's more than just the house that's strange for me... it's just being in this little West Virginia town again. I have NEVER fit in here! I remember thinking about that when I was as young as 12 years old. I knew then that if I ever wanted a different life, that I would have to bust my butt in school to be the best in everything to get scholarships so I could go away to school and leave this place behind. That was my plan, and it worked like a charm. I moved to Tennessee when I was barely 17, and except for a few summers between classes, I haven't looked back. This place is stifling! Everybody knows not only who everybody else is, but all of their personal business as well. It's the kind of town where the cheerleaders hang out together until they die, and your social status for your entire life is determined by what you were like in high school. I can look in my parents' high school yearbooks and recognize everybody from the class of 1972 because they were all of my friends' parents! This whole area is so isolated and run-down and at least 10 years behind the rest of the country. Can you tell that I have always hated it? I can't think of anything more miserable than having to live here day after provencial day.
Tonight, however, was nice. I was surprised. People all over town were sitting on their front porches with huge baskets of candy, fawning over the kids and being neighborly. There were families crowded throughout the streets, trick-or-treating and visiting and generally just having a good time. I saw all kinds of people who remembered me when I was Sierra's age and people I went to school with who now have kids of their own. I bumped into my cousin and his wife and kids out on the street. Saw all of my mom's siblings and my grandma at different times throughout the evening. It's comforting, yet confusing. I can't stand this place, yet tonight I was kind of proud of it. All of my family is here, my innocent years were spent here, and like it or not, I will forever be linked to this town. Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on it. I've done so much to distance myself from WV, but why? How can I hate a place so much when all of my own blood family loves it here?
I could sit here and write all night! My mom's up, though... I should probably spend some time with her.
But today was not the day for work! This afternoon I went to my aunt Julie's and took my little cousin Sierra trick-or-treating. I think I had more fun than she did! She's two, she dressed up like a duck, and she was a real trooper for all the walking we did! I got to play mommy and lead her around the same streets I trick-or-treated on as a little girl. I wonder how much time it'll take for it to get all over town that I had a baby? Especially when I didn't? Ha ha...
It's always so strange to come back here to my parents' house. For one thing, I won't have a home to come back to before long, and that hasn't really sunk in for me yet. That'll be hard. But it's more than just the house that's strange for me... it's just being in this little West Virginia town again. I have NEVER fit in here! I remember thinking about that when I was as young as 12 years old. I knew then that if I ever wanted a different life, that I would have to bust my butt in school to be the best in everything to get scholarships so I could go away to school and leave this place behind. That was my plan, and it worked like a charm. I moved to Tennessee when I was barely 17, and except for a few summers between classes, I haven't looked back. This place is stifling! Everybody knows not only who everybody else is, but all of their personal business as well. It's the kind of town where the cheerleaders hang out together until they die, and your social status for your entire life is determined by what you were like in high school. I can look in my parents' high school yearbooks and recognize everybody from the class of 1972 because they were all of my friends' parents! This whole area is so isolated and run-down and at least 10 years behind the rest of the country. Can you tell that I have always hated it? I can't think of anything more miserable than having to live here day after provencial day.
Tonight, however, was nice. I was surprised. People all over town were sitting on their front porches with huge baskets of candy, fawning over the kids and being neighborly. There were families crowded throughout the streets, trick-or-treating and visiting and generally just having a good time. I saw all kinds of people who remembered me when I was Sierra's age and people I went to school with who now have kids of their own. I bumped into my cousin and his wife and kids out on the street. Saw all of my mom's siblings and my grandma at different times throughout the evening. It's comforting, yet confusing. I can't stand this place, yet tonight I was kind of proud of it. All of my family is here, my innocent years were spent here, and like it or not, I will forever be linked to this town. Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on it. I've done so much to distance myself from WV, but why? How can I hate a place so much when all of my own blood family loves it here?
I could sit here and write all night! My mom's up, though... I should probably spend some time with her.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
