A wretch like me

I've been kinda emotional lately.

Seems like certain things have been building inside of me and this weekend they reached a boiling point. Friday night, Don was out working, so I did what I always do when I need alone time to think: I got in the car. I drove for three hours and it only felt like 30 minutes.

Our youth at church led an awesome worship service last night, and it was exactly where I needed to be. God has been speaking to me lately and had been chiseling away at my hardened heart, and the walls came crashing down through prayer and a lot of tears during worship.

So today, I felt emotionally drained. Too wiped out to be worth much, to be honest. At work, I spent most of the day alone, unpacking and stocking VBS material. Usually I would find that to be tedious work, but today I was actually grateful for it. I got a chance to examine what the kids were using in Bible school this year, and I was able to think about and pray for the children who were receiving the materials.

This is going to sound crazy, I know, but as I was unpacking the VBS stuff, I got all choked up over a picture of a squirrel! It was just the sweetest little drawing. I know I think about things WAAAAY too much, but I imagined someone putting a lot of effort into drawing that happy little squirrel just to please some kid!

It took me back to the summer I attended Bible school and came to know the Lord. I remember a picture of Jesus in my little workbook. I remember, plain as day, how he stood against a bright yellow background, with gentle eyes, an excited smile, and His arms outstretched. I spent a lot of time gazing at that picture just trying to grasp, in my 9-year-old mind, the intensity of His love for me.

Some things haven't changed much.

But then again, can we ever truly comprehend God's love?

I still struggle with letting myself fall into the depths of His passion. I have twenty-six years worth of sins... of pride, selfishness, broken relationships, on and on and on... and somehow God still finds me as precious and beautiful today as the day when I first jumped into His arms as a child.

Oh, how I need His grace!!