Okay, so my birthday's not really until tomorrow, but I'm already celebrating!
I tend to reflect a bit each year at this time, to take stock of who I am and who I want to be by the time the next birthday rolls around.
I will be 27 tomorrow. One thing I realized today (which I found to be somewhat depressing) is that I no longer have any milestone birthdays to look forward to. 16, 18, 21, great for obvious reasons. I couldn't wait to turn 25 because I could finally rent a car without paying extra, plus my car insurance went down. (Yes, minor details, I know, but I was still happy about it!) I'm grateful for each day and each year I'm given, but now I'm not wishing to be any other age than exactly what I am.
I have never known anything but youth, and it troubles me to know that it won't be long before I'm not considered young in age or in appearance. People usually mistake me for being younger than my actual age. I don't think I even act my age, honestly. As far as maturity and responsibility go, I think I'm pretty average. But when it comes to being a WOMAN, acting grown-up and ladylike, I feel so far behind the curve. I still feel like a clumsy little kid!
I find myself looking in the mirror, wondering when the day will come when I think I look old. I hope it's never! My hair is still long with its youthful shine, although I find gray hairs multiplying at an alarming rate. I still don't have any traces of wrinkles anywhere on my face, and my skin still looks good. I weigh more now than I ever have and though I'm not overweight, I could definitely stand to lose five or ten pounds. I'm no longer brave enough to wear a bikini, but with a little effort I guess I still could.
My career is stalled out, but I'm not terribly worried about it. We're okay financially. I know I have the ability to do whatever I want, it's just trying to decide what. I've learned that I don't have to prove anything to anybody!! I've tasted enough personal success in my life to be happy with what I've accomplished so far.
The smartest decision I ever made was latching onto my husband and saying yes when he proposed. Seeing him come in the door from work makes every day seem like a birthday for me.
I have amazing friends, relationships that have years-old roots that just keep growing deeper. I think God has been more than gracious in blessing me through these people who have CHOSEN to love me.
For my 27th birthday... this is what I want...
"For God did not give me a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline." - 2 Timothy 1:7
I read that verse last night and was stopped short. This is exactly my heart!
- A spirit of POWER - No doubting! Push the envelope a little more. Talk to the homeless guy. Pray with people I don't know well. Be more open about what God's doing in my life. Jump right in even though I'm not sure how it'll work out. Let God take care of the rest.
- A spirit of LOVE - Respond with kindness instead of telling people what they deserve to hear. Lose the impatience and take time to listen. Stop harboring resentment. Shut my own mouth. Actively lay myself down to build others up.
- A spirit of SELF-DISCIPLINE - Spend less time online and more time reading. Exercise. Quit eating so much chocolate. Read my Bible and clean the house even when I don't feel like it. Get to work on time!
