Today I decided to treat myself to a day in the mountains! Why not? Being so close to some of the prettiest countryside anywhere, it would be a shame to miss it in all of its fall splendor. So off I went, weather's sunny and 75 degrees, windows down, sunroof up, music up loud, with 20 bucks in my pocket and a tank full of gas. I took lots of pictures, hiked a bit, had lunch in a restaurant overlooking the New River Gorge where hawks were flying waaaaaaaay up overhead. Many of those places that I passed by were places that I'd been with old friends or old boyfriends or my family when I was younger. A perfect day for a drive down memory lane...
Isn't it strange how a person can be so close to you for a time and then they fade out of your life so easily? It made me a little sad as I was thinking about it. For example, I drove by WVU Tech today, the alma mater of two of my former flames. One of them was the first person I was ever significantly crazy about (which was never mutual), and the other guy was the first person who was ever truly in love with me (also never mutual). For a long time, I was very close to both of them, and both relationships ended abruptly. I thought about them today and I actually miss both of those people. Not because I wonder what might've been... I am very happy in my marriage and have no desire to contact either of those guys. It's more that I still care about them as solid, interesting people who added a lot to my life. But life goes on, we all move on, time passes, and that's the end of that. I just wish there was a better way, some magical world where I could actually continue to have meaningful friendships with all of those people who've taken up residence in my heart for a time. A land of endless visits... of lively discussions around campfires, Krispy Kreme runs, Blockbuster nights on the couch, hikes with my girlfriends. A world filled with people who I still deeply care about but never see anymore: my German exchange student, my best friend from high school, my cousins, some former coworkers, my circle of friends in college, and yes, even some old boyfriends. But even if I tracked them down and made the time for them, would they reciprocate? I don't think I really want to know the truth. People are too busy working and having babies and stuff.
Oh well. That's just the way it goes, I guess.
